1. This is not a comedy lecture This is not a workshop This is not a Seminar but… This is a mission Mission Wake up Desi Community!

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Slide 1 1. This is not a comedy lecture This is not a workshop This is not a Seminar but This is a mission Mission Wake up Desi Community! Slide 2 2 This message has reached Students Organizations S.A.S.A. 2001 - Berkley, CA S.A.S.A. 2003 - Orlando, FL S.A.S.A. 2004 - Houston, TX S.A.S.A. 2005 Los Angeles, CA S.A.A.N. 2005- Ann Arbor, MI 2 U. T Austin 2001, 2002, 2003 Texas A & M 2001-2002-2003-2004 U of Miami 2004 Brown University 2004 Slide 3 3 Community Organizations.. LPS Youth Conf 2001 Dallas, TX LPS Youth Conf 2002 Nashville, TN LPS Conference 2004 Ft. Worth, TX Bhakta Youth Conf 2004 Salt Lake City, UT Charotaria Patidar Youth 2004 Baltimore MD Slide 4 4 National Conventions ATA National conference 2002 Ft Worth, TX North American Bangladeshi Conf 2002 Dallas, TX Telugu Association of North America 2003 San Jose, CA ATA National conference 2004 Chicago, IL Slide 5 5 Even Mandirs are joining it.. Chicago Jain Temple 2004 Houston Durga Bari 2007! This message has to reach our entire community Slide 6 Confused Desi who is Really Confused, Parents or Children??? By Vijay A Mehta, M.D. Temple TX Copyright 1996-2001 Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. Slide 7 Disclaimer.Durga Bari Board or Arun Niyogi is not responsible for its contents. Not based on any scientific studies The speaker has no professional training on the subject! He is a Surgeon! Language shall be politically incorrect Work in progress Rated M for mature audience only Slide 8 8 Stories you hear today Names and location has been changed but the all relevant information is kept the same. Slide 9 9. This is the story of real ABCD! Asian Born Compulsive Desi ! Slide 10 10 Nearly 40 year ago in a land far far away.. Real ABCD were coming out of schools! They were the first generation of Free India! Slide 11 Land of Opportunity opens the door Before 7/2/1946.. It was illegal to give citizenship to Hindus Why did the door open? Slide 12 Asian Born Compulsive Desi Mere Deshki Dharati.. Success was defined by Jumbo jets were packed Brain Drain Slide 13 The struggle for survival Job Business Visa Food Culture / Religion Slide 14 14 ABCD goes home to marry another ABCD!. Slide 15 . As mother nature would have it few years later they were blessed with another ABCD! American Born Cute Desi! Slide 16 16 First Twelve Years Being Desi kid was fun Most pampered Very talented They were happy and we were happy! Slide 17 17 Main Street to Wall Street Academic super stars Talented Highest in earning, education, contribution to society model minority Slide 18 18 As mother nature would have it ABCD comes of age What is right and what is wrong? My parents would never understand Live and Dream of American way of Life and act Indian at home Double life Slide 19 19 Stranger in our house Lack of interest in Our culture / religion Our Family Our Samaj Why wont they bond with us? Slide 20 20 Sex Education We come from the land that gave Kamasutra to the world But we can not acknowledge that sexuality exists! Stay away form opposite sex. Slide 21 21 Our teenagers are.. Addicted to love Have trouble getting out of a relationship even when it is destructive. Low self esteem, I am not complete without a boy friend! Can not tell the difference between love and infatuation. Slide 22 Graduation! Free at last, free at last thank you Durga Mata I am free at last!! Slide 23 23 Biggest tragedy.. The Wall Slide 24 24 Art of Parenting - they do not come with instruction manual ! By Vijay Mehta, M.D. Temple, TX VijayVIP@aol.com www.Vijaymehta.com Vijay Uncle Mehta on Friendster Slide 25 25 When we checked in it was a third world country! When we check out It will be an India Shining an economic military and moral super power! Slide 26 26 Where did we go wrong? ;( My kids dont want to be a doctor My child is not married at 35 My child is love with wrong kind of person My child is Americanized Slide 27 27 Parenting in stages Up to 12-14 years - I am in control 14-19 - Act like I am in control 19 and over- Declare the victory and withdraw the troops Think of King Dasarath Slide 28 28 Parenting Only 10% of pain is what happens to us and 90% is how we react to it. If the parents are angry the children will be angrier. Remember, if you challenge the teens they will defy you. Slide 29 29 It takes a village we have to change as a community Change by design not by default Do not speak ill of others Do not criticize parenting of others. Do not brag about your success, luck has lot to do with it. Allow the Children to bond with others Slide 30 30 Myth vs. Reality My child is so religious and has so much Indian Culture he/she would not do anything Some ideal children may be hiding a terrible double life Slide 31 31 Let us face it... Two faced culture. We are more occupied with what people will think of us than who we really are! Slide 32 32 Sexuality Myth Our kids are NORMAL! The appearance of asexuality is a deception They are likely to have relationships and may be making out We keep the G rated environment at home, they live in R or X rated environment at school. Slide 33 33 Sexuality Myth By acknowledging that sex exists, they are not likely to do more but they are likely to be more responsible. We should promote male female interaction at an early age 13-14. Slide 34 Helpful Hints - Relationships Her boy friend may not be your enemy. Invite her boy friend you dont like and connect with him. Never put your finger prints on breaking their relationship! Let it die of natural death. Slide 35 35 Special Situation If you catch them in compromising position - Cat in the corner Do not continue to play after check and mate Wrong relationship remove the villain and retire the rescuer. Slide 36 36 Warning! Wrong relationship is a lesser problem compared to Alcohol, cigarette and weeds. Generation Gap is now 5-6 years! It is time for us as a community to deal with this. Slide 37 37 Crisis Management Put up an united front. Do not start blame game How would I show my face? Dont neglect good children. Dont get heart attack Dont call Ajmeri Baba! Slide 38 38 Crisis Management Find a meaning to your tragedy Parents support group Goal is to influence the behavior not to express your anger or frustration. Dont disown them. Slide 39 39 Never say Are you pregnant? You are a prostitute. I can never trust you. You dont know what we have done for you. You dont love us otherwise how could you do this? Slide 40 40 As a parent? Success is what you did, not what results you achieved Ma faleshu Kadachhan Do not blame yourself or your WIFE! Slide 41 41 Why do they lie? If Shravan were alive today he will have to lie to his parents They lie we lose trust Slide 42 42 Why they dont come home? My parents relationship can be best described as dysfunctional They are always fighting. When I go back home I am in prison. They routinely talk in third person in my presence. I have heard every lecture million times. They always compare me to others. Slide 43 43 Desi-American Ostrich Association Slide 44 44. Slide 45 45 New Indian Culture I rather know than not know! If you love me you tell me the truth! I promise to not go berserk!. Slide 46 46 New Indian Culture Let us encourage male female interaction at an early age Invite her boyfriend to dinner Alcohol under supervision Find out what is their passion about career Do not freak out no matter what. Slide 47 47 New Indian Culture Draw the line No kids only parties Check for Drug and Alcohol Are they sneaking out of house? Computer in living room Cell phone charger in Kitchen Put teenager to work Slide 48 48 Slide 49 49 Tamasho Ma Jyotirgmayah Asato Ma Satgamayah Mutyor Ma Amratamgayah Slide 50 50. This was not a comedy lecture This was not a Seminar but This is a mission Mission Wake up Desi Community! If you have any suggestions please contact me Slide 51 51 How to find me? Vijay Mehta VijayVIP@aol.com VijayVIP@yahoo.com Vijayvip@gmail.com (VIP stands for Very Indian Person!) www.Vijayuncle.com Vijay Uncle @ Face book Vijay Uncle Mehta @ Friendster!!