Presentation webinar case studies EI 21 june 2016

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  • client service

    trust-based sales

    consulting skills

    leadership

    21 June 2016

    ImprovingyourEmo.onalIntelligence:.psandcasestudies

    Skills to improve your client relationships www.theclientacademy.com

    Incollabora.onwithFIBA

  • WhoareTheClientAcademy?Training,coachingandfacilita7ontoimproveyourclientrela7onships

    MonicaHernanzFounder.Spanish.22yearsexperienceinclientrela.onships.Backgroundinbankingandconsul.ng.

    Weworkgloballyfrom3offices

    4areasofwork

    Clientservice

    Trust-basedsales

    Consul.ngskills

    Leadership

    London 4 consultants

    Madrid 2 consultants

    Panama Office for Latam since 2013

  • Someofourclients

    Colaboracincon

  • TheClientAcademysEmo7onalIntelligenceModel

    4

    Rela7onshipwithself:amIgoodenough?

    TheworldADAPTATIONTOCHANGE

    YourselfSELF-TALK

    OthersDEPENDENCY

    OurEmo.onalIntelligenceModelisbasedaroundmanagingthreerela7onshipsatwork:

    Rela7onshipwithothers,onwhomwedependtoobtainresults:canItrustthem?

    Rela7onshipwiththeorganiza7onandtheworld:willitwork?

  • 5

    WhatisEmo7onalIntelligence

    Emo.onalIntelligenceisthecapacitytoreadandmanageouremo5onsaswellasotherpeoplessothatwecanguideourbehaviourtowardsthebestresultinthecurrentsitua.on

  • Sailinganalogy:Emo7onalIntelligencearethesails

    6

    Wearetheboat

    Theseaisourcircumstances

    Thewindsareouremo.ons

    ThesailsareourEmo.onalIntelligence.Theyallowustogetourboattotherightdes.na.onwhateverthewindandseacondi.ons

    6

  • Situa7on1:Rela7onshipwithyourself AmIgoodenough?

    Lack of confidence Self-doubt about our skills Strong self-criticism Shame

  • Rela7onshipwithyourselfCasestudy1:context

    8

    Theytendtobesuccessfulpeople,buttheirselfesteemcomesfromexternalsourcesinsteadoffromwithin.Theyobtainresultsattheexpenseofahighemo.onalcost.

    Mee7ngobjec7vescomeswithnega7veemo7ons:fearoffailure,perfec.onism,impostorsyndrome,etcTheself-dialogueisnega.veandrelentless,buteffec.ve.

    ARerachievingachallenge,theytendtomovetothenextonewithoutcelebra7ngsuccesses.

    Increaseinthelastfewyearsofthissitua.on.Execu7vesaremoreexposedandalone.

  • Rela7onshipwithyourselfcasestudy1:analogyhowtheyfeel

    Analogy:differencebetweenlearningtoswimenjoyingthewaterorlearningtoswimbythrowingyourselfinthedeependwhenyoures.llhesitant

  • Rela7onshipwithyourselfPosi7vesideandcon7nuum

    ShameSelf-doubt Self-confidence Arrogance

    Imadisaster Imperfect

    SELF-DOUBT AND SHAME HAVE A POSITIVE SIDE Self-doubt is like daily gymnastics to do better. Shame is a natural response when we have made a mistake, to admit we have

    done wrong and repair relationships. If self-doubt and shame happen too frequently, then their negative side effects

    outweigh the positives.

    Whereareyou?

  • Howtoimprovetherela7onshipwithyourself

    PERSPECTIVE Iden.fytheirra.onal/

    animalvoice Haveself-compassion

    likeyouwoulddowithafriendorchild

    Arguewiththenega.vevoiceusingevidenceofpreviousachievements

    ANTICIPATEOBSTACLES Iden.fypaXernsand

    obstacles. Preparewhenthenplans

    BODYLANGUAGE Fakeit.llyoubecome

    it WatchAmyCuddys

    TEDtalkontheeffectofbodylanguageonthemindwww.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

  • Situa7on2:Rela7onshipwithotherswhenwedependonthemforourresults

    CanItrustthem?

    Vulnerability because of dependency

    Mistrust Sensation of lack of power Frustration because of

    different work standards

  • Rela7onshipwithothersCasestudy2:context

    13

    Theytendtobeveryindependentandresponsiblepeople

    Methodical/specialisttypeofwork:inBanking,oReninITorFinance

    Theystrugglewithdelega.onandpreferwriXencommunica.on.Itishardertorelyonyourownresultsnowadays.Weneedtactandperseverenceinrela.onshipsaswellastechnicalmastery.

  • Rela7onshipwithothersCasestudy2:howtheyfeel

    Analogy: difference between controlling everything at a RISK board-game and feeling you could be run over by a train and not even know about it. Other people may have out you in that position.

  • Rela7pnshipwithothersPosi7vesideandcon7nuum

    Totaldependency

    Workswellwithothersbuttendstotrusttoomuch

    Workswellwithothersbuttendencytomistrust

    ControllingTotal

    independence

    Icantdothingsalone Icantcountonanyone

    Positive reinforcement for taking care of things others leave unsolved

    Whereareyou?

    EXCESSIVE CONTROL HAS A POSITIVE SIDE

    Vulnerability early in life? Learned that dependency is a bad thing?

    Hyper-responsible children (e.g. Older siblings?)

    Negative effect: too much work, unnecessary effort. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and people start to avoid responsibility because you will pick it up.

  • Howtoimprovetherela7onshipwithothers

    SHOWEMPATHYAskfortheotherpersonsversionofeventsandreallylisten.Avoidblame.Ask:helpmeunderstandhowyouareexperiencingthissitua;onsothatwecandosomethingaboutit.

    THINKASATEAMResistthetempta.ontoappor.onblametomakeitclearthatitwasntyourfault.Thinkaboutwhatyouhavetoloseinfutureiftherela.onshipsours.Collaborateasateamtosolveit.

    FOSTERAUTONOMYDontcri.cizetoomuchortheywillfeelthatwhatevertheydo,youwontbehappy.Agreeonwhatneedstobedoneandleaveautonomyonhowtogetitdone.

  • Situa7on3:Rela7onshipwiththeworldthroughadapta7ontochange

    Puedoconfiarenellos?

    Dependencia Desconfianza Sensacin de

    falta de poder Insatisfaccin ante

    diferentes estndares de trabajo

    Willitwork?

    Fear Uncertainty Lack of control Helplessness

  • Adapta7ontochangecasestudy3:context

    18

    Theytendtobepeoplewhopriori7zestability,security,rou7nes

    Detailedworkwheretheyhavetoiden7fyrisks:Inbankingriskmanagement,compliance,finance.

    Forthemchangeisapainfulprocessofpersonalturmoil.Theychangewhenitsabsolutelynecessaryandwhenresonshavebeenwellexplained.

    Forthemop7mismhastobebasedonfacts

  • Adapta7ontochangecasestudy3:howtheyfeel

    Analogy:differencebetweenrelinquishingcontrolinasafeenvironmentlikearoller-coasterandfeelingyourefreefallingheadfirst.

  • Adapta7ontochangePosi7vesideandcon7nuum

    Iavoidchange

    Mo.va.ontochangeisposi.ve(aspira.onal)

    IseekchangeotherwiseIm

    bored

    Itrytodothingsthesame

    Icantdothingsthesame

    Theywantpriorthoughbulplanbeforechanging

    Whereareyou?

    Abilitytoseethreatsandriskswhenothersdont

    Colleaguescallthempessimists,theycallthemselvesrealists

    Mo.va.ontochangeisnega.ve(avoidance)

  • Personalized plan to leave the comfort zone. Small steps to get into the stretch zone.

    Adapta7ontochangeGe^ngoutofthecomfortzone

  • Howtoimprovetheadapta7ontochange

    ANALYSISUseyouranaly.calstrengthtoobjec.velyassesstherisksyoureconcernedabout.Donotsimplygetthemoutandchurnthemoverandover.Dosomethingaboutthem.Debateandeithercrossthemoutorplantominimizethem.

    SUPPORTCreateapersonalizedplanofac.vi.esandpeoplewhocangiveyousustenanceduringthechangeprocess.Internalsources:exercise,sleep,relaxa.on,nutri.onExternalsources:hobbies,peopleimportanttoyou,keepingotherthingsstable

    REALISTICOPTIMISMThereisevidencethatabiastowardsop.mismproducesbeXerresults.Makeaconsciousefforttobeop.mis.c,whilstminimizingthethreats.Lookforevidenceofpastsuccessesofcopingwithchange.

  • Summary:wehavetalkedaboutemo7onalintelligenceinthreeprac7calsitua7onsthatelicitstrongemo7ons

    TheworldADAPTATIONTOCHANGE

    YourselfSELF-TALK

    OthersDEPENDENCY

  • Threekeymessages

    The origin of the things you find difficult is positive. At some point those behaviours have served you well.

    1

    Identify your irrational voice and dont listen to it2

    Improving your emotional intelligence requires intentionality and practice

    3

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