X-Ray Listening: Clean Language section for NLP Master Practitioner Course

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By Judy Rees, delivered Ecclefechan Sept 2013

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X-Ray Listening Judy Rees Judy Rees Passionate about connecting minds and bodies via metaphor, to catalyse change Co-author of Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds International coach and trainer Asking About Metaphor When you are listening at your best, you are like... what? (Starter question only) What kind of X (is that X)? Is there anything else about X? What did you notice? Listening Benefits Brings you clarity about what people mean Reduces misunderstandings and conflict Helps listenees to think precisely Builds rapport and trust Conceals your ignorance! AreYou Listening? 1.Listen 2.Be distracted 3.Listen Notice what happens! What Makes A Good Listener? Your suggestions Deeper Listening? 1.Person A talks about something important to them 2.Person B listens without speaking (can smile and nod) Notice what happens! What Happened? When you were being listened to? When you were the listener? To the relationship between you? Parrot Phrasing Parrot Phrasing 1.Person A talks about something important to them 2.Person B encourages them by repeating selected words and phrases 3.Person C listens for metaphors and makes some notes for later A waitress increased her tips by 70% simply by repeating the customers order back to them in their own words, rather than saying okay or coming right up University of Nijmegen, 2005 Metaphor Metaphor Thought is made of metaphor - the native language of the unconscious mind Metaphor Describes one kind of thing in terms of another kind of thing Surfaces And Essences Douglas Hofstadter and Emmanuel Sander Metaphors In Mind Categorising Creating Interpreting Deciding Learning Coins Activity Take a handful of coins Arrange them to represent either: you and your family, or you and your colleagues Metaphor In Language Six metaphors per minute Side-effect of metaphoric thought Can be used to connect with the unconscious mind Metaphor in Thought Change in metaphor in language can lead to change in thought Change in metaphor in thought rearranges neurology - everything changes The Mind David Groves Clean Language Clean Language Precision toolkit for working with metaphor in thought Noticing Metaphors Natural Metaphors Cliches and proverbs Common metaphors - eg. journey, game, space, force Its like... is stated or implied Directing attention with questions Clean Language Questions Precision tools for working with peoples thoughts and directing attention Designed to minimise content input Include as few presuppositions and metaphors as possible Use only the given question, with one or more of the persons own words And when... with a parrot-phrase is used as a connector Clean Language Questions David Grove 1950 - 2008 Clean Language Created by David Grove for therapy Modelled/codified by Penny Tompkins and James Lawley Now ideas applied in multiple contexts - management, coaching, marketing etc Increasingly supported by academic research Constraint inspires creativity What happens when you are asked a question? The art of directing attention The 2 Lazy Jedi Questions 2 Lazy Jedi Qs: Uses Finding out more about anything! 2 Lazy Jedi Questions What kind of X (is that X)? Is there anything else about X? Words Are Personal Think of a flower What kind of flower is your flower? Using The 2 LJQs Whats one of the goals you have in life? (Starter only) What kind of X (is that X)? Is there anything else about X? What did you notice? The Dark Side Of Metaphor Discovering A Metaphor Listen for, and notice, natural metaphors Or ask:And thats... like... what? Ask very slowly, with long pauses Metaphors are personal Ask Clean Language questions - the details are always different Handling The Dark Side Notice - is this a metaphor for a problem or an outcome? If its a problem, take care! Either: Use Power Switch immediately or Ask up to two LJQs before asking for a metaphor, then use the Power Switch Exploring A Metaphor Start with What would you like to have happen? Explore that outcome with Clean Language questions Listen for, and explore, metaphors If drifting into problem, use Power Switch The Power Switch And when , what would you like to have happen? The Power Switch Uses Changing focus from negative to positive Changing mood/state Unsticking Persuasion, influence, sales Conflict resolution Power Switch Practice Start by stating a minor problem And when , what would you like to have happen? Power Switch Practice This time, start with a metaphor for a minor problem And is like... what?> Practice Person A talks about something/someone they love (or a metaphor for that) What kind of X? Is there anything else about X? And when , what would you like to have happen? Feeling to Metaphor Person A mentions a feeling What kind of X? Is there anything else about X? Where/whereabouts is X? And thats like... what? Unlocking The Emotional Brain Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, Laurel Hulley Coaching With Clean Get a towards outcome Get a metaphor for that outcome Develop the metaphor until chimes No fixing! Elicitation is the intervention Coaching With Clean What would you like to have happen (as a result of this module)? What kind of X? Is there anything else about X? Where/whereabouts is X? And thats like... what? Necessary Conditions What needs to happen for X? Conditions are often nested When you are working at your best, you are like what? Starts 3 October http://bit.ly/181xxxw http://bit.ly/181xxxw Judy Rees www.xraylistening.com - blog www.learncleanlanguage.com - resources www.judyrees.co.uk - coaching http://youtu.be/D7rFhf7 G84U http://youtu.be/D7rFhf7 G84U http://youtu.be/2cU56S WXHFw http://youtu.be/2cU56S WXHFw http://youtu.be/aVvcU5 gG4KU http://youtu.be/aVvcU5 gG4KU

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